photo credit: Jesper Särnesjö
photo credit: Jesper Särnesjö

While most people grow up believing that there is a certain type of behavior that is attributable only to girls and another appropriate only to boys, gender is not as simple as all of that.  While it is generally true that physical sex can be determined from chromosomal differences (although not always, approximately 1% of babies born every year are actually classed as intersex,) gender simply isn’t that simple.  Cross dressers comprise many different points along the gender continuum.  Consider the spectrum as such – on one end you have extreme femininity, the opposite end is extreme masculinity, and in between is every possible mix of the two including the middle extreme of displaying no gender.

Psychologically speaking, Jung was the first to point out that people all have a need to develop both their masculine and their feminine sides.  How people navigate this development varies widely from person to person.  Some people work very hard to cultivate attitudes or feelings that are often contributed only to the opposite gender.  For example, a genetic female may work to develop assertiveness – historically considered a masculine trait in the Western World.  While a genetic male my work to develop his ability to care for other people and show compassion.  Are these traits actually genetic?  Its very difficult to tease out what is an actual physical difference vs. what is due to the very different ways in which our culture raises boys and girls from infancy on.

Cross dressers typically fall in a few different places along the gender spectrum.  There are three major reasons that men decide to begin cross dressing.  The first reason is when a person knows that they have been assigned the wrong gender based on the way they have always felt since childhood.  Chromosomes do not always match up with experience and aren’t always the best way to assign gender.  Why this is no one is completely sure, but we do know that throughout history this has always been true.  Terms used to describe this group of cross dressers are either transgender or transsexual.  Generally the terms are interchangable and are set by professionals.  Transgender is current term du jour per the organization – WPATH (World Profession Association of Transgender Health Inc.).  Transgender people cross dress in order to feel more comfortable as themselves.  In addition, many transgender individuals wish to permanently change their physical sex through the use of hormone therapies and potentially gender reassignment surgery.

The second category of cross dressers do not feel they have been assigned the wrong gender, but do wish to experience life from the perspective of the opposite gender.  Cross dressing provides the means to temporarily be a member of the opposite sex.  This group has no sexual motivation for cross dressing per se and has no desire to permanently change their physical sex.  The majority of male cross dressers fall into this second category.  Sometimes in medical literature this group may be referred to as “transvestites.”  Cross dressers are most often straight men, although the practice of dressing in “drag” is also common in the gay male community and to a lesser extent in the lesbian community.  Straight women are not typically labeled as cross dressers – mostly due to a wider range of clothing options being socially acceptable for women.

The last category of cross dressers are those that find sexual pleasure or arousal through the act of wearing clothing belonging to the opposite gender.  This is sometimes referred to as sexual fetishism.  The act of cross dressing may be limited to a single article of clothing such as panties, bras, or high heels; or may involve an entire outfit.  People who cross dress for sexual pleasure tend not to do so in public and it is difficult to estimate how prevalent this category truly is.  It is important to note that sexual fetishes are not considered “unhealthy” unless they provide psychological distress or are harmful to another person.

The gender spectrum is much more varied than what your typical high school health text will suggest.  The current social climate continues to stigmatize variation by labeling differences in the gender spectrum as “mental disorders.”  These classifications, however, should not provide the excuse to stigmatize difference, but rather the opportunity to receive support – especially through medical treatment for transgender individuals who wish to correct their physical gender assignment.

There are many different styles of cross dressing – anything from flamboyant drag show dressing to dressing to pass as a woman. The intent of this article is to discuss the latter – how to choose a flattering outfit for your body type to aid in passing as a woman.  For the basics of those new to women’s fashion, there are generally four different styles of body type.  The first is the apple shape – this body type has a generally round shape up top with the chest/breast area being wider than the hips.   In some genetic men you will notice this body shape that is wide at the shoulders going down to a narrow waste – sort of like an inverted triangle – this is the classic apple body type.  The second body type is the pear shape.  This type has smaller shoulders and top, with a larger bottom area – imagine the torso in much the shape of a pear.  The last general body type is the hourglass shape – curving tops and bottoms with a waist that is smaller than both.  Many consider the hourglass shape to be the ideal, but if you spend some time observing genetic females, you will note that not many actually fit this body type.  The last body type is the straight body – generally going in a straight line down from the shoulders to the hip area without any real noticeable curves or bulges.

Someone who has an apple-shaped body will look most flattering wearing fabrics that are stretchy but not tight.  You should definitely avoid baggy or poofy clothing as these types will tend to accentuate your roundness for a very unflattering look.  Never ever wear shoulder pads or anything that makes your shoulders look bulky if you have an apple shape.  A-lines, turtlenecks, shirts with collars, and bottoms that show off your legs are the most flattering styles for someone with an apple type.  Tight skirts will tend to overemphasize the bulk up top, so avoid those.

If your body shape is more like that of a pear, you can use this to your advantage to accentuate your hips by wearing clothing that is strapless or sleeveless.  This may require more you to spend more time achieving the perfect cleavage, but the payoff will be an excellent look that truly shows off your good areas.  You should avoid straight-cut clothing and dresses as these will tend to tighten in around the hip area and make you look fat rather than curvy.  Flowing fabrics and straight skirts – not straight dresses, are wonderful for this body type.  the most flattering tops are those with a cowl or square neckline as these will tend to broaden the appearance of narrow shoulders.  You want to avoid clothing that is either too loose or too tight, and avoid tops, sweaters, or blazers that end at the widest part of your hips.

For those of you who have a more straight body type, the best tactic is to choose clothing that elongates your upper body as this will be the most flattering.  Choose clothing with necklines that will fall below the area of the collarbone.  These will create the appearance of an elongated upper body and neck.  Jackets and tops should have a longer length in order to lengthen the torso.  Prints on skirts and pants are nice and will help create the illusion of a broader lower body.  Avoid pleats or belts along your waistline as these will tend to make you appear thick rather than having a slimming effect.

If you are one of the lucky few with an hourglass shaped body (there really aren’t that many out there!) then as long as you have the confidence to wear it, you can pull off just about any outfit out there and look damn fine in the process.  We envy you!

What does Chaz Bono’s transition have to do with cross dressing for men? While it seems true that there will always be haters out there, publicity of healthy choices and transitions is always a good thing. It makes people stop and thing and learn to question the ideas about gender identity that we’ve all been force fed since we were babies.

Gender identity isn’t some static given where a man is measured by his machismo factor. But you wouldn’t know that from watching most TV, advertising, or even public school education! Anytime anyone is brave enough to stand up and say that the mold we force ourselves to live in is crap, it doesn’t fit me…I say Bravo! That public stretching and acknowlegement of the true spectrum of gender identity helps inspire the rest of us to keep exploring ourselves.

My sincere hope is that you are inspired by Chaz as well. Keep exploring the edges of your own gender identity and express yourself in your own unique way whether that is through cross dressing, coming out as you are ready, or through exploring options for gender change. Bono publically wrote about his realization that he is “somehow different” in the book “Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming-Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, & Their Families,” and now he is taking public steps on his continued coming out journey. Let this inspire us all to take those deeper steps into exploring ourselves and who we really are.