What does Chaz Bono’s transition have to do with cross dressing for men? While it seems true that there will always be haters out there, publicity of healthy choices and transitions is always a good thing. It makes people stop and thing and learn to question the ideas about gender identity that we’ve all been force fed since we were babies.

Gender identity isn’t some static given where a man is measured by his machismo factor. But you wouldn’t know that from watching most TV, advertising, or even public school education! Anytime anyone is brave enough to stand up and say that the mold we force ourselves to live in is crap, it doesn’t fit me…I say Bravo! That public stretching and acknowlegement of the true spectrum of gender identity helps inspire the rest of us to keep exploring ourselves.

My sincere hope is that you are inspired by Chaz as well. Keep exploring the edges of your own gender identity and express yourself in your own unique way whether that is through cross dressing, coming out as you are ready, or through exploring options for gender change. Bono publically wrote about his realization that he is “somehow different” in the book “Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming-Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, & Their Families,” and now he is taking public steps on his continued coming out journey. Let this inspire us all to take those deeper steps into exploring ourselves and who we really are.

Most men who cross dress describe their relationships with their wives as being very close. Certainly you don’t want to do anything to hurt that. Hiding your cross dressing from her long term, after you’ve become comfortable with it yourself, only serves to drive a communications wedge in your marriage. If you value your relationship, I’m sure you understand how important open and honest communication is to maintaining it. While she may be surprised at first, if your relationship is good she will value your openness. If you don’t have a good relationship with your wife, counseling or some other form of help may be in order for you as a couple if you intend on staying married.

Just remember, coming out is your choice, but there are accidents and mishaps that happen that might take this choice out of your hands. When you are ready, it is better if you have this discussion with your wife yourself, rather than her finding out. If she finds out on her own, you may have to deal with her loosing trust in you because of hiding from her. Secrets kill relationships, cross dressing doesn’t.